Lost in the Memories of Us [Haruka & Satoshi]

All Haruka could see was blue. A deep, encompassing blue. His lungs were straining with what little air was left and he was so far below the surface that he could feel at any moment he might just drown. His arms didn't move, nor did his legs. His eyes slowly shut as his lips gave passage to the water now assaulting his body and filling his lungs.

And then he woke up. From dream to reality, Haruka no longer awoke shook by grief or fear from these dreams. He simply awoke with a choke, as if the air caught in his lungs had all but disappeared before awaking. His eyes flickered open and he flung himself from the bed, preparing himself for the day without paying much mind to it anymore. He crept carefully out of the bed, quiet enough to let his wife sleep. The void from then had been filled and there was nothing that he could do to change that fact now.

Slipping on his regular slacks and collared shirt, he threw on a sleek, black silk vest and with checkered buttons. He folded each in, tossed his hair back over his shoulders, grabbed the keys to his car and set out for his day. Granted, today was majorly and wasn't glorified by tasks of the needy public. He had a scheduled "appointment" so to speak with an old friend.

He arrived at the destined spot with a few minutes to spare. They were supposed to meet around eleven this morning, but he wanted to be there earlier. There was something he wanted to remember first. The feeling of walking on the beach again... It was something Haruka desperately yearned for despite the years that passed. He slipped off his dress shoes, rolled the fines of his socks off and stuffed them in the empty shoes and walked onto the beach, his toes pressing prints into the soft dunes.

He walked a few feet out onto the beach side, hands folded into soft pockets. He stared at the horizon and vivid memories of the past rushed in like water down a tap in his head and a brisk smile crossed his face. Here they fought together. Haruka, Satoshi and Yukino. This was not the start, nor was it the end, but it was a place simple and sweet and filled with bittersweet melancholy. Memories that slipped behind curtains and voids that were difficult to clutch again alone, and so Haruka called on his friend to help him see those days again. To stare at the clouds as they effortlessly pass and rekindle the flame inside of them for what they all joined together for. Vanguard.

A visit on the beach. An opportunity to catch up again and reinvite what brought their stories together.

Satoshi had not expected to receive any sort of contact from Haruka Nakahara in the same way he did not expect contact from the Espoir household in general. Not since his greatest mistake to date...even as a much wiser man, he had been prone to similar, youthful errors. This one was, in his mind, no matter the reflection, unforgivable:

He had forgotten to attend their wedding.

The reason was somewhat understandable, but nevertheless frustrating. The Guardian's spirit, Seph, fused with him near the end of the war to grant him the energy and strength needed to help the Chosen Sword, Yukino Espoir, recover her memories, lost for moments of time to the reapers. Following success and the loss of that spirit, Satoshi merely became a homefront defender while the rest of the Triad and their allies fought headon. It was arguably a cowardly move, but it forced him to constantly reflect and meditate on all things to compensate for his failures.

An angry letter from Father Espoir, telling him to never set foot on the manor grounds ever again, did not help the situation. It forced Satoshi to believe, despite his dear friends likely thinking otherwise, that this was his time to go astray and follow his own path. A path with many twists and turns, but one that would lead him to pure and sound body and mind. If they could forget him, things would be fine, he assured himself.

And yet...

Haruka had reached out to him and invited him to the beach. The place where the three trained together, enjoyed life together, and forged one of the strongest bonds mankind would ever know. This place, and the park, both held significant weight in his mind as he stepped out towards the shore, seeing a lone adult male standing in the sand, gazing out at the sea.

These memories were old, but truly the most pure and innocent times one could speak of when it came to these three aged individuals. They represented something that, no matter how hard any of them tried, could not be stamped out at all. Even if one of them were to miss a wedding of the other two that got him banned from the homestead he knew so well.

Satoshi stepped gently across the sand to take a place beside this male, knowing for sure he was the one who had called him out to this spot. His robe flowed against the sea breeze, and his presence felt like much more of a biblical figure, though he had chosen to tie his hair back in a ponytail today, much unlike that same image. Just...a youthful opportunity, to say the least.

"...Good morning, Haruka."

For a moment, he didn't turn. Haruka just stared out to the horizon. The sun was far above that now, but still the horizon is where his vision was locked on. The voice passed, and so did a few recessions of waves before Haruka turned over his shoulder to Satoshi standing there, just a few feet away. He pulled a hand from his pocket, gesturing to him with a soft expression on his face. It was something like a distant smile, the kind you give when you're talking to a stranger at a park about an idle topic of no real importance. Maybe it was the years that made his expression become ever so slightly colder, or maybe it was just the times made him as a person colder altogether.

Despite this, after a moment, his expression warmed into a familiar, stoked grin. The kind he gave when he was just a teenager, just barely graduating from high school. When he saw this familiar face emerge at the local park, which seemed so far away now.

"Good morning to you, Satoshi."

He let his hand fall to the side, letting the other one emerge as well with something shiny gripped in its palm. It was a deck case, familiar all the same. It had scratches on the edge, red matte with a white Vanguard Circle image painted on the front, most of which had faded by this point. It was, strangely, warm to the touch.

"I'm glad you made it out. I've wanted to talk to you but there's never really been a good time what with business and travelling..."

Haruka pulled his free hand over his head and through his hair, chuckling a bit with his voice just barely breaking the audible sound of waves flowing in and out from the oceanside.

"I have so much I want to ask, but in reality it's all pleasantry. Nothing that matters, not between us. Where we go, where we've been, what we do. What it all means is kind of moot when we've finally reconvened, isn't it?"

He stared back over his shoulder for a moment, to the horizon, then back to Satoshi.

"Where have we been, Satoshi? That we could not fulfill that promise that we made so long ago. To stand at each other's sides every day, protect each other, and fight for each other?"

His grin faded a bit, becoming somewhat destitute.

"Where have we been? And what has it got us?"

Satoshi gazed into Haruka's eyes as he spoke. His friend's face spoke more words than he, showing that pain had dulled into some sort of passive bitterness. Seraphim had experienced much pain over the years in varying forms, and the Guardian could not put it past him for feeling that way. His eyes lowered and he turned toward the water, stepping lightly into the ebb and flow of the tide, which washed back and forth over his sandals as he began to speak:

"Human beings...Our minds are always wandering, in motion, hyperactive, looking for the next thing to cling onto and avoid holes and gaps that could come if we keep on moving on, time and time again. We end up asking such strange questions, like 'Where have the years gone?', or 'It's been so long since I last saw you, what have you been up to?'...when in reality, we know where we have been, and how this much time has passed. It is of our own accord, something that is consistent of all peoples. It is simply reflective of time as a forward direction, even when we try to look back.

"Much like the waters we gaze out at now, moving back and forth listlessly...in such motion are our memories, our thoughts, our ideas, our passions...and even our pain and suffering. Some days it comes in, others it flows out...all a part of living our lives. It is saddening to think about...and yet, relieving if you pursue understanding that sadness, because you learn, very quickly, that things find a way of working themselves out, even at their most hopeless. Not always are they ideal, but..."

Satoshi sifted a hand into the side pocket of his robe. "Regardless...as moot as it may seem, it is equally as human and reasonable to long for those we thought to have lost."

Haruka stared at Satoshi as he spoke, his brow furrowing somewhat in confusion. His became slightly ajar as if surprise was overcoming his expression slowly. Satoshi was off on a tangent that Haruka struggled to follow as usual. His words were fluent and orated rather spectacularly, though only to the unfortunate tune that Haruka  still was not the best at following elaborate or complex thoughts like that. He could figure it out inside, but not when it was explained to him like that.

When he finished, Haruka's face was frozen for a moment, then erupted to a heartfelt chuckle. He brought his hand up to his lips, shrugging it off in a moment.

"I guess some things just never change then, huh?" His fingers gripped the deck case in his hand a bit harder as he stepped a bit closer again, closing the distance a bit more. "I guess what I meant to ask, what happened to us? One day we're at the top of the world and then we're calls once a year or less, sending Christmas cards and... well, you know."

He pulled his free hand up, the back of his hand facing Satoshi plainly. Adorning it was a finely crafted platinum band with small inscriptions along it. Plain but precious. He raised a brow at Satoshi, then put his hand back down only to raise the case in his hand.

The dull red of the case and black scratching laid in his hand... for a moment. Then, with a flash and a glimmer, the case began to transform into a sleek, silver, black and white metal box with latches and locks on the side keeping it enclosed. On the top, engraved in a deep red, "Seraphim." He looked at the case, then up to Satoshi, still leaving it held out in his vision.

"It's been awhile since we've played. What do you say? Talk over a game?"

If this had been anyone else, Satoshi would have declined. Already he had violated this self-imposed rule with Koga, and it would sting to continually go against his peaceful virtues.

But since it was Haruka...he made a special exception, once again.

The two fought on the beach, water lapping at their feet as they clashed in the sand. Haruka was using a deck left to him by Sera, known as the Messiahs. Very unusual, considering the former's normal playstyle conflicting with what the Guardian recalled of Link Joker, and yet...Sera's nature came out in those cards. It felt as though he was there along with them, watching over their game, guiding his entwined heart's moves.

Messiahs proved to be a stronger opponent than Satoshi was perhaps expecting. They utilized the full fledge of lock's utility, by both locking and unlocking various units, impartial to whose they were. This power both hindered the field he could get together with his units and increased Haruka's resources in hand. Even then, the wisened man played as best he could around unfamiliar territory, and even pushed his Jingle Flower Dragon up to a reasonable power level.

Nevertheless, the resourcing proved strong enough to overwhelm the Sacred Tree, and Sera's gift reigned supreme. It would have felt slightly worse to suffer such a loss had this not been Haruka, let alone the fact that Satoshi had long ago accepted loss as an opportunity for growth. His Triadmate had proven time and time again that it was not hard to keep up.

During the fight, Satoshi had an opportunity to apologize for his mistake from long ago. Though his comrade accepted the apology, he noted he had more to say, and that it was easier forgiven on his end than on their mutual's. Yukino would be...a much more difficult sell, even if it was one of her first ever friends and former teammate.

He also had a gift he was going to bring to the wedding for the two of them, but that would have to wait.

"What did you want to discuss?"

Packing away his gift, the Messiahs, in the special case that had been appearing recently, he slipped it away and returned his attention to Satoshi would had already begun wondering what was up. Delighted to continue their conversation, Haruka motioned for Satoshi to join him closer to the sealine.

"Come, the water is nice today."

Haruka rolled the hem of his slacks up, letting his feet sink into the wet sand and feeling the ebb and flow of the seafoam rest over his ankles and the lower end of his shin. The way the water squelched and squirmed its way around his toes was refreshing to contrast the dry heat today. Whether or not his former teammate joined him, he stared out to the horizon, talking openly so he could be heard over the sound of the ocean washing over the grains of white.

"I think that we can't really undo what we've done anymore. Fixing problems are one thing, sure. We've fixed a lot of problems and made amends to the worst things imaginable. And yet..." He shrugged, letting his hands rest at his side. No gesticulation.

"... There are just some things that can't be fixed. Irreparable. Whether that is human nature or not, I don't know and I honestly don't care. What I do care about though, is that I wish I knew before I made the mistakes, what I could fix and what I couldn't."

He turned slightly, facing his friend.

"I've made some terrible mistakes in my life, Satoshi. I think all of us have in one way or another. But I want to be assured that from today forward we try to fix them before they can't be anymore. I don't want a repeat of, I guess, this...?" He splayed his hands out, somewhat puzzled at his own phrasing.

"I don't want to feel like we've drifted apart anymore. It scares me to think that I once let this thing I cared so much about go, even though I still care about it. Kind of hypocritical, I know, but still."

He shrugged again, feeling the sea brush over his bare feet once more.

Satoshi sighed. Haruka was right, but it was just hard to explain how things in general had made him so detached from it all. He became so focused on his own medication, his constant meditation, that in trying to avoid the issues that brought him emotional pain, guilt, anxiety, all these things he had never had to experience on the farm long ago...all because he made the effort to go to the city. To become a "new person." All these ridiculous things that turned Earth itself upside down...regardless if they knew him as a part of history or not anymore, it had all just been so brutal to his soul that he had desired to be away since the initial Link Joker invasion. Why his friends had fought for him so hard back then, he still could not figure.

But that was the other side of it all. His friends. These people, who he would have not met if he had stayed in the countryside. Yukino. Haruka. Karin. Koga. Cipher. Hana. Sera. Father Espoir. Even the first love of his life...

All these people mattered. Many more mattered as well. His self-declared rival, Cero Kirguis, the people of Zoo Branch...the several sparks of the new generation. Everyone had an opportunity to be something more, and he had contributed to that greater image. That was something he couldn't just put aside.

After all of those thoughts sinking, Satoshi had but only one response. He put a hand on Haruka's shoulder.

"You are right. Even if it will not be pretty...I wish to make things right. Some time, perhaps you, Yukino and I could get together, for old time's sake? I had a gift for you both that I prepared for when you two were to say your vows. I felt so guilty for missing that opportune moment, I kept them aside and away until I could find a way to possibly forgive myself. And perhaps, being around the two of you again...I can find that opportiunity." A warm smile adorned his face.

In meditation, there is a particular type made for loving one's self. Satoshi did not practice this enough, but he made a mental note from this encounter to begin doing so more often.

"Consider it done. I'm sure it will take more coaxing than I have to comfortably exert, but Yukino can't say no to me forever. Probably."

Haruka chuckled into his hand, accepting Satoshi's invitation to once more reconvene in the future to make amends between them. Granted, it wasn't an impossible feat to accomplish, but he was certain if there was ever going to be a harder task, it was trying to convince Yukino to give Satoshi the time of day to apologize for missing something as big as her own wedding. He shrugged, discarding the thought for the meantime...

"I'm glad you came out here today to revisit some of these memories. I hope I didn't keep you all that long, but I think the workday is truly going to start soon..."

Haruka almost instinctively checked his watch, shaking his head and then pulling out his cell phone instead and seeing the time. It read just past 1 in the afternoon. Haruka's shift began right before 2, but he had to drive back to the office across town during the early traffic. He sighed, rubbing his own shoulder and turning back toward the street.

"If you ever need me, you know how to reach me. I'm heading to the office for another delightful day of... y'know. Work."

He chuckled again, then sauntered off with loafers and socks in hand back toward his car.